The ABC's According to John
by Alleonh
Summary: Just a little feelgood ficlet. Set during some downtime R and R as John teaches Torren the finer points of the ABCs.


meh, I'm officially stuck in a writing rut (again)

but just so I can feel like I'm doing something creative, here's the last SGA ficlet I finished and totally forgot to post here. It was written for the Comfort Challenge at SGA_Flashfic forever ago.

Disclaimer: if I owned it we'd all be screwed because i have no inspiration! D:

enjoy!

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"A is for Annoying," John said to the sleeping bundle. Torren, wrapped in a soft brown Athosian blanket, slept peacefully in the Lieutenant Colonel's arms, safe and secure.

Seated beside him on the couch, Teyla tilted her head in confused amusement. The expression really wasn't an unusual one for her ever since she'd come to accept this unlikely group as her new family. The four of them had taken over the area set aside in Atlantis for a lounge, but the movie playing was ignored by all. Across from John, Ronon sat in a chair and softly strummed the Colonel's guitar. The big Sateden had recently taken to the instrument and he seemed content to pluck random strings in a dissonant tune that could have been Sateda's national anthem for all John knew, so he kept his mouth shut. And lastly, Rodney sat on the second couch, computer resting in his lap, his light tapping a normal soundtrack to their movie nights. He'd pause occasionally, his eyes roving over the screen before continuing, oblivious to everything around him.

"B is for Bitchy." John continued cheerfully.

"John," Teyla's warning was soft and rebuking.

"Sorry," John rescinded apologetically, though the smile was anything but. He considered a moment then, "Balding. B is for Balding."

The fingers stilled over the keyboard. John noticed, but pretended not to as all his attention was on the child in his arms. Above the blanket, the only thing visible was a shock of dark unruly hair that had led to _certain _comments from _certain_ astrophysicists as to the true paternity of the child. That had been five minutes ago.

"C is for Cranky," John continued, shifting into a more comfortable position. This warranted an unamused 'hmph' from behind the laptop before the tapping began again in earnest, albeit a bit harder than was probably necessary.

"D is for Dork."

Rodney's head shot up, "Colonel, do you think that you could refrain from twisting the poor child's views with your _non compos mentis_ teaching methods? And if you don't mind, find someone else to be the brunt of your demented jokes."

"Not everything is about _you_ McKay. By the way, E is for Ego." That last part was directed back towards the sleeping bundle.

"Yes, and I suppose F is for Funny, which you, thank you, are not."

John smirked lightly, but before he could respond a particularly discordant _twang_ drew his attention. Cocking an eyebrow, his leaned down and whispered conspiratorially, "G is for Guitar Lessons." _And H would be for Hiding... _he added in thought as the dreadlocked head lifted and his undoubtedly armed teammate locked a dark gaze on him.

Clearing his throat nervously, John suddenly took great interest in rearranging the blanket around the child, reminding the large Satedan of his precious bundle. Yeah, a two month old human shield may have been ..._strategically tacky_, but at least it made the large warrior return his attention to the instrument.

"Let's see." John then continued, "S is for Stargate."

"Wait, what?" All typing stopped as Rodney looked back up with an expression usually reserved for Zelenka or another of the "incompetent" science team. "You can't do that!"

"Do what?" John asked with only half feigned innocence.

"That! You skipped like half the alphabet!" Rodney's fingers were off the keyboard, rising to animated status as he prepared to defend the age old list of phonemes.

"I don't see why not. It's not like there's a rule that says letters _have to _go in that order."

"Well, while it's true that some Middle Eastern and Asian cultures learn letters in no particular order-- That's not the point! If you're going to teach the kid the English alphabet then it needs to be in order."

"Rodney," Teyla soothed in a low voice, mostly because the physicist's rising tone was beginning to make the child squirm. "I am sure that Torren will have many opportunities to learn--"

"That's not the point!" Rodney flailed. "There's a song and everything!"

"I never liked that song." John piped helpfully.

Rodney's face fell. "Figures," he said. With an obvious show of effort he turned back to his computer, completely martyred in the linguistics cause. "I can't wait to see the John Sheppard method of teaching numbers. 'One... two... three... _orange_....'"

"Coulda been Mensa." John reminded with a grin.

"Yeah, well they're really lowering the bar." Rodney muttered to himself, missing the rolled eyes coming from the other couch.

"Alright, enough letters for one day." John said to the sleeping child with too much enthusiasm. "Let's move to numbers! One.... Two......

-End-

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A/N: This has been unfinished because I couldn't get my alphabet funnies to work. My friend kicked my muse back to work with the simple statement that "John would probably just skip some letters" So thanks goes to her for that because...yeah, he would. XD


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